The following is an excerpt to a book I began when I was fourteen. It is entirely unedited (hence the spelling and grammatical errors) but perhaps it will be one day, if and when I finish it! Enjoy.
As I said before, we stayed in a not-so-nice house in Azrou in the beginning when we first came [to Morocco]. That was for three months. Then we went back to S.A. for two weeks, then when we came back again, we rented a flat in Rabat. It says in my diary that it was like 'heaven on earth' at the time. It was in Rabat that we got our kitten. The lady from the South African embassy said that a cat had given birth in the embassy garden and being a cat and animal lover, she didn't have the heart to put them down. So she asked us if we'd like one kitten. Of course, we said yes. The cat was ginger and white, with blue eyes, and a cute white nose.
Then the naming began. We tried all sorts of names and eventually, kelly [my sister] thought of Whisky. Whisky it would be, I agreed. Then my mom pointed out that whisky was wine, and people weren't supposed to drink in this country. So Whisky was out, too..."Why not call it Whiskers?" Mom said. By this time we were so sick of names we all agreed.
Kelly ans I thought the kitten was simply adorable, but there were others who didn't. Namely, my parents. We soon found out that they were right. The little rascal was eating the tomatoes out of the veggie rack, jumping on the counter, scratching the curtains and suitcases. The thing I liked most was when it got out of the kitchen somehow (where it was locked away at night), and came and snuggled up on my chest! The worst thing, though, was when it kept climbing up onto the dining room ledge and pulling all the Christmas trimmings down.
My parents kept hasseling about having the cat spayed, since a veterinarian friend of ours said it might be a female. We thought so, too. There was a place near to where we lived called SPANA. It was a place for cats and dogs, almost like the SPCA. We found out that it was free so we took kitty there. They kept it there the morning, to do the operation, then in the late afternoon we went back to fetch it.
Apparently, they had found out that the cat was a male - on the operating table! Before that, the cat went wild, scratching and fighting to get away from the needle. He now had a scar on his stomach where they felt abour and couldn't fint the female organs. Only then did they find out that whiskers was a male.
After that we tried getting him to eat, but he wanted to scratch us as well, and it was days before the cat stopped swaying and began to recognise us. After about a week or two, he was okay. And he was allowed to sleep on the couches after that ordeal!
During the second year of living in Rabat, we hired a house in Ain Leuh, which was hours away. In the beginning, we only went there for a few days. This was because we didn't take the cat with us. We would leave loads of food all around the kitchen, and also a double load of cat sand. But eventually, we were needing to stay in Ain Leuh for longer periods of time - and we couldn't leave the cat at home for any longer than we were doing now. So we took him with us. In a transformed birdcage! This was because we couldn't find a suitable basket for him to travel in. The thought came to my mother when we got some birds from our friends. We had killed one by mistake and one of us had left the cage open so the other three escaped. Now we were left with a cage in the scullery - just taking up space, you see.
My mom actually came up with the idea (she's the smartest, fast-thinking one in the family). That night she made a cover for the cage, with one side open, just like a real box. The thing was made of material. And that's how we travelled - with the cat in the luggage compartment of course! On the first few voyages, we could actually hear him meowing - he was so loud! Some people laughed at us, but it was unique, I think.
*No animals were ever hurt, although it sounds like it, after reading it through myself! And all this was done on my very first typewriter, for which I will always be thankful. I learnt to love the written word with that bulky green lug!
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Monday, 24 October 2011
A thought on souls
After reading Mary Gaitskill's Mirrorball, I began thinking about my soul, how I've flashed it around, perhaps lost it with my carelessness. Has it ever returned to me, as it has in this story? I think so, eventually. One sentence stuck with me, a sentence that I am able to relate to with every relationship I've had in the last three years (one for each year, I think). I leave it with you to consider. Have you ever felt this way?
The girl tried to feel contempt for the boy, but it is hard to have contempt for a person who's made off with part of your soul.
The girl tried to feel contempt for the boy, but it is hard to have contempt for a person who's made off with part of your soul.
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
I am not alone
She rambles on about the past, and only pauses every few minutes to cough--a phlegm-filled and hideous sounding one. The stories she tell are ones that she's told me a thousand times before. They're about children she raised who were not her own, money that she never had, lives she saw extinguished well before their time... she's a well of information, but I'm too tired, too tired to listen. I want her to stop, to be still, so I can rest.
I know she won't be.
So she goes on, telling me of how her children have all buggered off and left her, and it's as if I'm not there for her, looking after her, day in, day out. Some days I wonder if she remembers who I am, or who she is, or even where she is. I'm too afraid to ask her, because I'm more afraid of the answer.
I'm afraid of growing old. I'm afraid of being bitter like her, of losing control of my mind and my bladder, to the point where I'd be dependent on another human like she is on me. It's something I don't want to ever face. Especially not alone.
Maybe if she wasn't so alone, she wouldn't be so bitter. Dear God above, I don't ever want to be that bitter.
Monday, 28 February 2011
Gina & Jo begin...
"Water! I can see the water!" Jo shouted with excitement. They had been riding in the Land Rover for EVER and even Gina was asleep. "Gina, we're almost there!" Jo shouted as she shook her sister awake. Gina yawned and pushed Jo away.
"You're so annoying. Can't you leave me be for one tiny minute?" Gina was two years older and wasn't talking to Mum and Dad. Ther were moving to Africa with Lions and tigers and giraffes, but Gina just wanted to stay with her friends in England.
Jo's eyes glittered as she saw the beautiful lake. It stretched so far that you couldn't even see the other side. And Mum said there were hippos, too.
"Mum, where are we now?" Jo asked
"Darling, we're in Malawi.
"Mum, will we see the hippos soon?"
"We'll see, dear. Now sit back and relax. We should arrive at the compound soon."
Just minutes later, the car shivered to a halt and Jo jumped out to stretch her aching legs. It was the middle of the day and the sun was so hot that even the ground warmed her bare feet. Jo hated wearing shoes. She loved the sandy feeling between her toes and kicking clay lumps across the ground. She looked about and saw a semi circle of white, dormitory buildings. In the centre of the compound was a wooden well with a tin bucket perched on the low wall, and all around were mango trees, laden with fresh juicy fruit. The air was warm and sweet and there wasn't a bird in sight.
"Jo, dear, would you help your father take the bags to our rooms?" her mum asked as she lugged a big white suitcase into a room on the edge of the semi circle. Gina was grumbling about the heat and pushed Jo aside as she stomped after Mum.
"Hey -" Jo protested just as Dad handed her two back packs.
"Take those inside, will you?"
"Yes, Dad." She said. What was wrong with everyone? They were in a new place, it was so different and bright but no one really wanted to be here. Stupid family. I'd have more adventures without them. I'd go down to the lake, sail a little boat, and watching the animals coming for a drink in the evenings. Jo sighed as she entered the dormitory. It was divided into four rooms with wooden partitions. Mum took her bags and put them in one of the rooms.
"You and Gina can share a bed here. The one will be your school room, and the other we can use as a bathroom. Sort of." She smiled, "We need to get a few buckets in town. This is quite exciting, isn't it?" Jo nodded, but knew Mum was trying to make the best of it. No toilet? How was that exciting?
"You're so annoying. Can't you leave me be for one tiny minute?" Gina was two years older and wasn't talking to Mum and Dad. Ther were moving to Africa with Lions and tigers and giraffes, but Gina just wanted to stay with her friends in England.
Jo's eyes glittered as she saw the beautiful lake. It stretched so far that you couldn't even see the other side. And Mum said there were hippos, too.
"Mum, where are we now?" Jo asked
"Darling, we're in Malawi.
"Mum, will we see the hippos soon?"
"We'll see, dear. Now sit back and relax. We should arrive at the compound soon."
Just minutes later, the car shivered to a halt and Jo jumped out to stretch her aching legs. It was the middle of the day and the sun was so hot that even the ground warmed her bare feet. Jo hated wearing shoes. She loved the sandy feeling between her toes and kicking clay lumps across the ground. She looked about and saw a semi circle of white, dormitory buildings. In the centre of the compound was a wooden well with a tin bucket perched on the low wall, and all around were mango trees, laden with fresh juicy fruit. The air was warm and sweet and there wasn't a bird in sight.
"Jo, dear, would you help your father take the bags to our rooms?" her mum asked as she lugged a big white suitcase into a room on the edge of the semi circle. Gina was grumbling about the heat and pushed Jo aside as she stomped after Mum.
"Hey -" Jo protested just as Dad handed her two back packs.
"Take those inside, will you?"
"Yes, Dad." She said. What was wrong with everyone? They were in a new place, it was so different and bright but no one really wanted to be here. Stupid family. I'd have more adventures without them. I'd go down to the lake, sail a little boat, and watching the animals coming for a drink in the evenings. Jo sighed as she entered the dormitory. It was divided into four rooms with wooden partitions. Mum took her bags and put them in one of the rooms.
"You and Gina can share a bed here. The one will be your school room, and the other we can use as a bathroom. Sort of." She smiled, "We need to get a few buckets in town. This is quite exciting, isn't it?" Jo nodded, but knew Mum was trying to make the best of it. No toilet? How was that exciting?
Monday, 21 February 2011
Random thoughts
You can say the word 'statistics' without fully opening your mouth - by clenching your teeth!
I think I need to diet.
"Every man must have a sense of humour in order to win a woman." ~ Johnny Kadri
Johnny Kadri is an idiot.
Riley was a dragon of extraordinary size,
His eyes were big as footballs and his teeth large blocks of ice.
I'm sitting next to a girl on the tube who either has a horrible case of the sniffles, or is extremely cut up about something. What should I do?
Love deficit: the only problem in our world.
Just block it out. It's amazing what you can block out when you put your mind to it!
Flap jack place: opposite Kentish Town Overground station.
Aaaaah! Kids drive me insane! Can't stand 'em!
Today I found an old walking stick near the bus stop. I helped an old lady call the police, although the reason is still unclear. I also contemplated tying a red ribbon outside my window, just because.
I think I need to diet.
"Every man must have a sense of humour in order to win a woman." ~ Johnny Kadri
Johnny Kadri is an idiot.
Riley was a dragon of extraordinary size,
His eyes were big as footballs and his teeth large blocks of ice.
I'm sitting next to a girl on the tube who either has a horrible case of the sniffles, or is extremely cut up about something. What should I do?
Love deficit: the only problem in our world.
Just block it out. It's amazing what you can block out when you put your mind to it!
Flap jack place: opposite Kentish Town Overground station.
Aaaaah! Kids drive me insane! Can't stand 'em!
Today I found an old walking stick near the bus stop. I helped an old lady call the police, although the reason is still unclear. I also contemplated tying a red ribbon outside my window, just because.
Friday, 18 February 2011
Orgasmic 'O' words
oppulent olfactory obtrusive originality octopus ovulate organism ostensible ovoviviparous opinionated occupation orator orangatan optometrist ornament opiate oncologist oxymoron octagon oesophagus offensive oblong obtuse ordinance obstinant ominous occult onomatopoeia origami omnibus occult obelisk orchid oscilate omnipresent organic ornate outrageous omniscient ostracise opportunistic ottoman optical oppressive obstruction oriental ovarian orifice oracle.
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Skinny Dipping
I've never had a skinny dip
I wonder what it's like
Is the water frozen cold,
Or is it a delight?
Is it a vanilla shake
Or is it pamplemousse?
I guess I'll never know because
I'm just a big fat wuss!
I've never had a skydive
On a sunny summer's day
Flipping, dodging left and right
As free as birds in May.
Is it kinda scary letting go
And falling free?
I guess I'll never know
'Cause I'm too poor to pay the fee!
I've never had true love's first kiss
Till five months past today.
My heart has never fluttered
As it says in Shakespeare's play.
It took me full on by surprise
(like many small things do)
I never quite expect the way
I smile and look at you.
I'm love sick and I'm crazy
And would try most anything
I've lost my mind in Timbuktu -
Descriptions can't begin!
I'm hunting for an elephant
To swim across the world
My glass-half-empty soul
Is so contented and so filled!
And skinny sky dipping diving's
All I want to do
I want to skinny sky and dip and dive
All over you!
I wonder what it's like
Is the water frozen cold,
Or is it a delight?
Is it a vanilla shake
Or is it pamplemousse?
I guess I'll never know because
I'm just a big fat wuss!
I've never had a skydive
On a sunny summer's day
Flipping, dodging left and right
As free as birds in May.
Is it kinda scary letting go
And falling free?
I guess I'll never know
'Cause I'm too poor to pay the fee!
I've never had true love's first kiss
Till five months past today.
My heart has never fluttered
As it says in Shakespeare's play.
It took me full on by surprise
(like many small things do)
I never quite expect the way
I smile and look at you.
I'm love sick and I'm crazy
And would try most anything
I've lost my mind in Timbuktu -
Descriptions can't begin!
I'm hunting for an elephant
To swim across the world
My glass-half-empty soul
Is so contented and so filled!
And skinny sky dipping diving's
All I want to do
I want to skinny sky and dip and dive
All over you!
Trend Setter
I think I started a trend. At work a few months ago I began taking people's signed time sheets and putting them away in their appropriate folders...just as a nice gesture to:
a) save time when people wanted to leave,
b) give me a little break off the phones.
But today was different. After having my sheet signed, I sat down and began working. Not a minute later, two girls in my area went around collecting the signed time sheets and putting them away! Wow. Amazing how a simple gesture can spread so quickly. I feel good!
a) save time when people wanted to leave,
b) give me a little break off the phones.
But today was different. After having my sheet signed, I sat down and began working. Not a minute later, two girls in my area went around collecting the signed time sheets and putting them away! Wow. Amazing how a simple gesture can spread so quickly. I feel good!
Life is indeed wonderful
It's a an amazing day today. After listening to a little too much Jason Mraz' song about gratitude, I realise that even though I'm down in the dumps, there is still so much to be thankful for. So here's a countdown of things I haven't thought of being grateful for for a long, long time...
1. My parents. They've made some crazy sacrifices for me to be in London, studying and pursuing my dreams. Their encouragement more than keeps me going even though I barely notice.
2. Friends. Those who keep close to me, want the best for me, and push me to greatness. Those who are there no matter what time of the night I need them.
3. A roof over my head, a warm bed, washing machine, food in the fridge and internet!
4. London. I love living in a city where so much is going on - that I am part of! It's incredibly rich in both modern and historical culture, so diverse.
5. That I can still breathe. That I am alive and well most all the time.
6. For a beautiful grey sky. It forces me to appreciate each ray of sunshine, each speck of blue, and every glimmering star so much more.
7. Experience. Life lessons that have taught me control, respect, honour, and most of all, love.
8. A God who cares for me unwaveringly, no matter how much I shun or hurt him. Who gives more than a million second chances with each waking moment.
9. A guy who won't admit his feelings, can be utterly rude, won't open up or give more than he takes. But who protects, loves, holds, caresses, and somehow keeps me coming back!
10. That slight dizzy feeling when I have an epic kiss, or when I hold my cigarette smoke in for too long & my butt starts to tingle.
1. My parents. They've made some crazy sacrifices for me to be in London, studying and pursuing my dreams. Their encouragement more than keeps me going even though I barely notice.
2. Friends. Those who keep close to me, want the best for me, and push me to greatness. Those who are there no matter what time of the night I need them.
3. A roof over my head, a warm bed, washing machine, food in the fridge and internet!
4. London. I love living in a city where so much is going on - that I am part of! It's incredibly rich in both modern and historical culture, so diverse.
5. That I can still breathe. That I am alive and well most all the time.
6. For a beautiful grey sky. It forces me to appreciate each ray of sunshine, each speck of blue, and every glimmering star so much more.
7. Experience. Life lessons that have taught me control, respect, honour, and most of all, love.
8. A God who cares for me unwaveringly, no matter how much I shun or hurt him. Who gives more than a million second chances with each waking moment.
9. A guy who won't admit his feelings, can be utterly rude, won't open up or give more than he takes. But who protects, loves, holds, caresses, and somehow keeps me coming back!
10. That slight dizzy feeling when I have an epic kiss, or when I hold my cigarette smoke in for too long & my butt starts to tingle.
Saturday, 12 February 2011
Excuse me, where can I find some pants?
Today I was forced to go knickerless! With a denim dress on! Before you start thinking I'm a complete hussy without boundaries, I'll have you know it was Chocolate's fault. Either I sat on a piece of milk chocolate, or someone threw it down my dress (from behind) and it melted there.
When I had a most unconfortable feeling down there, I thought, oh no, it's period time, and ran to the bathroom just before the Brazil v Cote d'Ivoire game began. It took forever to clean off my dress with tissue paper, but the pants were unsalvageable. I had to chuck them - white ones, too.
My man was extremely excited about my commando-ness and proceeded to tell me how naughty he thought the whole affair was. No need to wonder about the outcome of that conversation!
When I had a most unconfortable feeling down there, I thought, oh no, it's period time, and ran to the bathroom just before the Brazil v Cote d'Ivoire game began. It took forever to clean off my dress with tissue paper, but the pants were unsalvageable. I had to chuck them - white ones, too.
My man was extremely excited about my commando-ness and proceeded to tell me how naughty he thought the whole affair was. No need to wonder about the outcome of that conversation!
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Audacious 'A' words
arduous ambidextrous antennae agressive artifact amplification administer antibiotic anaconda adoration android alleviate amniotic accelerate auteurism abscond adulation auspicious aphrodisiac antidote anmesiac amaurotic amphibious aboriginal acronym affluent andalusian aviary anagram angiosperm apparition allegedly auburn austentatious apocalyptic alimony anecdote aardvark alienation awning arbitrary atrium algorithm androgenous astral aggregate attribute aggravate antechamber abstinence adulterous assumption anesthesia amorphous amputate autistic automate aquarius assertive aerodynamic.
XXL, please!
Double seat
Tiny feet
Pounds of meat.
Rolls of blubber
Makes me shudder
Soft like butter.
Podgy digits
Rounded midgits
Itch and fidget.
Flesh galore
Three chins or more
Can't touch the floor.
Eating cake
Sink on a lake
Nothing fake.
Jerry Springer
Chicken zinger
Such a minger!
Depressions sets
Place your bets
On muscle flex.
Bring on chubby
Lively, bubbly
Lots to huggly.
Uses Twinky
As a binky
Little pinky.
Tiny feet
Pounds of meat.
Rolls of blubber
Makes me shudder
Soft like butter.
Podgy digits
Rounded midgits
Itch and fidget.
Flesh galore
Three chins or more
Can't touch the floor.
Eating cake
Sink on a lake
Nothing fake.
Jerry Springer
Chicken zinger
Such a minger!
Depressions sets
Place your bets
On muscle flex.
Bring on chubby
Lively, bubbly
Lots to huggly.
Uses Twinky
As a binky
Little pinky.
An afternoon dream
Once upon a time there was a girl. She was special. She was so filled with magic that the other town members threw her out. But one day she returned.
See, this was no ordinary town. Its rulers were magical. Its wise women were witches and there were many bewitching spells, and many more well-wishing ones. Even the soil was heavy with magic. Mystic air swirled through the lungs.
In this town there was a school. It was renowned for its teaching of magic and many great 'specials' rose and were educated within those walls. At one time she was, too. But soon the outcast would return. Those who knew of her knew she would be back and prepared for that day earnestly.
Years and years went by and the outcast returned, now a beautiful young woman. She enrolled in the school. The specials,knowing they could do nothing unless they had evidence against her, cautiously allowed her to come and go as she pleased.
As she walked up the farm hill towards the renowned magical school, many seen and unseen eyes watched. But she had a secret, unseen companion who watched carefully over her. A strong presence that allowed nothing to harm her. As she reached the top of the hill, she greeted old childhood friends with a kiss on the cheek.
There was the lovely Jane perched near the fence, with sparkling, braided hair. She had a hideous monster with her and they eyed her suspiciously as she greeted.
Then there was Sandra. Lithe, lady-like, and most deadly. Outwardly she was sweet as a dove, but her lips were incredibly deadly. Her long dress, typical of specials, glistened in the humid wind.
Tanya most gracefully welcomed her and offered her friendship, but she was not fooled by her winning emrald eyes.
Many others glared at her with irksome faces, and backed away. They were a wonderfully mystical bunch, yet traitors nontheless.
That very night they put a devious plan to action. The students conjured un spells to force her to leave - to drive her screaming from her bed. But failed. This was the first of many attempts, but each one came to nothing. Every morning, to their chagrin, she would rise healthly and smiling, ready to learn the secrets of the magic school.
But one night her fellow students desire to drive her out was too strong to overcome. They set fire to her room, lighting the walls from the outside. Feeling invincible had weakened her and the fire's fumes quickly overwhelmed her. But though she struggled and panicked, she could find no way out. In a smoke-covered heap, she passed out crying for help.
Her unseen friend found her and quietly whisked her away to safety. The unseen one alighted in an enchanted wood near the school, away from prying eyes. Or so it thought.
The enchanted wood was well known by students, who used it for their extensive practical exercises. They immediately felt an unknown presence in the wood and her 'closest' friends assembled a group to finish her off.
As they arrived, the whistling wind halted and everything became deathly still as they listened for a sign of life - her life. Shallow and failing they could hear her heartbeat, but it echoed faintly in every direction and they could not place it. The forest was heavily shrouded. With what, they could not tell. But it peturbed them that another being hid her presence in their wood. It annoyed them and taunted them.
Everything began to glimmer faintly with silver, from the tree tops with their feathery leaves, attached to their harsh, strong bases. What was happening? They didn't know what they were up against!
* this is a dream, some names have been changed.
See, this was no ordinary town. Its rulers were magical. Its wise women were witches and there were many bewitching spells, and many more well-wishing ones. Even the soil was heavy with magic. Mystic air swirled through the lungs.
In this town there was a school. It was renowned for its teaching of magic and many great 'specials' rose and were educated within those walls. At one time she was, too. But soon the outcast would return. Those who knew of her knew she would be back and prepared for that day earnestly.
Years and years went by and the outcast returned, now a beautiful young woman. She enrolled in the school. The specials,knowing they could do nothing unless they had evidence against her, cautiously allowed her to come and go as she pleased.
As she walked up the farm hill towards the renowned magical school, many seen and unseen eyes watched. But she had a secret, unseen companion who watched carefully over her. A strong presence that allowed nothing to harm her. As she reached the top of the hill, she greeted old childhood friends with a kiss on the cheek.
There was the lovely Jane perched near the fence, with sparkling, braided hair. She had a hideous monster with her and they eyed her suspiciously as she greeted.
Then there was Sandra. Lithe, lady-like, and most deadly. Outwardly she was sweet as a dove, but her lips were incredibly deadly. Her long dress, typical of specials, glistened in the humid wind.
Tanya most gracefully welcomed her and offered her friendship, but she was not fooled by her winning emrald eyes.
Many others glared at her with irksome faces, and backed away. They were a wonderfully mystical bunch, yet traitors nontheless.
That very night they put a devious plan to action. The students conjured un spells to force her to leave - to drive her screaming from her bed. But failed. This was the first of many attempts, but each one came to nothing. Every morning, to their chagrin, she would rise healthly and smiling, ready to learn the secrets of the magic school.
But one night her fellow students desire to drive her out was too strong to overcome. They set fire to her room, lighting the walls from the outside. Feeling invincible had weakened her and the fire's fumes quickly overwhelmed her. But though she struggled and panicked, she could find no way out. In a smoke-covered heap, she passed out crying for help.
Her unseen friend found her and quietly whisked her away to safety. The unseen one alighted in an enchanted wood near the school, away from prying eyes. Or so it thought.
The enchanted wood was well known by students, who used it for their extensive practical exercises. They immediately felt an unknown presence in the wood and her 'closest' friends assembled a group to finish her off.
As they arrived, the whistling wind halted and everything became deathly still as they listened for a sign of life - her life. Shallow and failing they could hear her heartbeat, but it echoed faintly in every direction and they could not place it. The forest was heavily shrouded. With what, they could not tell. But it peturbed them that another being hid her presence in their wood. It annoyed them and taunted them.
Everything began to glimmer faintly with silver, from the tree tops with their feathery leaves, attached to their harsh, strong bases. What was happening? They didn't know what they were up against!
* this is a dream, some names have been changed.
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Random things I did today
- Picked up a coat button in Old Street.
- Picked all the buttons off my coat.
- Told someone to turn their car lights off.
- Spoke about having a 'come-to-work-naked' day, and pheromones.
- Got extremely excited by Salad Fingers.
- Bought a birthday card for my dad, who's only due to celebrate in September!
"It's a really weird feeling," I said, "because you're stuck in limbo, you don't know if you're coming or going, if you need closure or not or what to do at all."
"Well, true," was his response, "You know this is God's will, he has a carefully laid plan we can't yet see (and all that jazz) but in the meantime we're waiting on what to do next, perhaps it's to sit at the Algerian border and smuggle the kids out!"
I heard the frustration creeping into his voice and I just couldn't take it. The waiting is by far the hardest, because although you try not to, your mind replays the gutting feelings of being torn away from everyone and everything you know and love and hold dear: country, house, photos, teddies, but worst of all: family. And it's the constant conscious decision not to dwell on it, that keeps you from going utterly insane.
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