Random things I did today

1. Picked up a coat button in Old Street.
2. Picked all the buttons off my coat.
3. Told someone to turn their car lights off.
4. Spoke about having a 'come-to-work-naked' day, and pheromones.
5. Got extremely excited by Salad Fingers.
6. Bought a birthday card for my dad, who's only due to celebrate in September!

So many things happened today, but the most heart-wrenching was Daddy. I had a good coversation with him about forging a good relationship with my boyfriend's parents...but then we started talking about our children. Nine amazing little ones we had fostered for ten years. Nine amazing little ones we were forced to leave behind when told to leave the country.

"It's a really weird feeling," I said, "because you're stuck in limbo, you don't know if you're coming or going, if you need closure or not or what to do at all."

"Well, true," was his response, "You know this is God's will, he has a carefully laid plan we can't yet see (and all that jazz) but in the meantime we're waiting on what to do next, perhaps it's to sit at the Algerian border and smuggle the kids out!"

I heard the frustration creeping into his voice and I just couldn't take it. The waiting is by far the hardest, because although you try not to, your mind replays the gutting feelings of being torn away from everyone and everything you know and love and hold dear: country, house, photos, teddies, but worst of all: family. And it's the constant conscious decision not to dwell on it, that keeps you from going utterly insane.